As a new foster or kinship parent, you may be wondering how to address behaviors connected to feeding. At Chrysalis Children's we have a three step guideline that will get you started in the right direction. We are here to support you in this journey to restoration, and developing a healthy relationship with food is a big part of your child’s adjustment in your family! Our practice will walk beside you in this journey and provide counsel and specialist referrals to help your child become comfortable with food in their new home.

Step 1: Discover the Underlying Problem

There are often a number of reasons that children have difficulty with feeding. These can range from physical problems, such as poor oral motor tone, dental cavities, gastroesophageal reflux, constipation, food allergies, sensory processing issues, and other chronic conditions that contribute to poor feeding and poor weight gain. Behavioral problems, such as food hoarding, rummaging, food pocketing/stuffing,overeating and food refusal are very common when children enter care. It is critical that your medical provider complete a thorough physical exam and lab testing when your child is established in your home. We can provide solutions for these common concerns through our interactive care connections.

Step 2: Connect with your child

A foundation of safety and connection is an important part of changing your child’s relationship with food. The four things fed by parents at a meal are love, care, connection, and food. At Chrysalis, we will provide meaningful interventions to assist you in creating moments of connection. Here are a few ways you can begin connecting with your child:

1. Offer a calm regulated presence when you sit down to eat with your child.
2. Maintain a neutral tone with food. Don’t shame the child for foods they like or were served routinely.
3. Don’t battle over manners right away. Lead by example.
4. Make eye contact during meals, hold and cuddle infants when feeding, but do not force eye contact.
5. Make clear to the child, in word and deed, that you will provide, that you are accepting, and that there will be enough to eat.

Step 3: Create an individualized plan that works best for your family.

At Chrysalis Children’s Clinic, we take the time to create solutions that work with your child and your schedule. One plan may not work for every child. Feeding specialists are also incorporated as needed to assist your child in healing their relationship with food. Here are a few suggestions to reduce anxiety around food:

1. Offer balanced and tasty meals and snacks every 2-4 hours. If you go to the park, bring food with you.
2. Find out what they are used to eating and make or buy it.
3. Include foods they want to eat along with the foods the family enjoys for meals.
4. Invite children and teens to help cook and meal plan. Resist the urge to argue or pressure, even if they refuse food they initially chose.
5. Serve foods family style, and allow the child to serve themselves so they feel more in control.

The Discover, Connect, and Create strategy is one path on the restorative care plan for your child. We look forward to creating a solution with your child and your family!

Warm regards,
Angela Cabrera, APRN, CPNP-PC
CEO and Pediatric Provider Chrysalis Children's Clinic

References and Resources

• American Speech-Hearing-Language-Hearing Association-Feeding Disorders in Children
• Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand Children’s Behavior Challenges (Mona Delahooke, PhD)
• Children’s Wisconsin: Caring for Children with Feeding Disorders
• Ellyn Satter Institute: ellynsatterinstitute.org Love Me, Feed Me: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Ending the Worry about Weight, Picky Eating, Power Struggles, and More. Katja Rowell, MD, www.thefeedingdoctor.com